"LEXAPRO LEXAPRO" and "THE MINISTRY OF PRESENCE"
2 Micros by Sean Ennis
LEXAPRO LEXAPRO
My leash, my lifejacket, my world lit with a bulb of perfect wattage when I take it as directed. There are side-effects, but the cost-benefit analysis is convincing. Lexapro, lexapro. The nausea, which is deep and disorienting and dehumanizing, passes. I stopped taking it once, thinking I was cured, and then here comes those electrical bolts in my ears, lexapro, lexapro, like I was listening to the malfunctioning noise of my brain. Also, anxiety and depression. Ashamed, I refilled the prescription immediately. Lexapro, Lexapro. Of course, the cure leads back to sickness.
THE MINISTRY OF PRESENCE
I do not attend Saint Syncletica’s Catholic Church, nor the Seven Elevations of the Merge Worship and Community Center. There are other, more minor ways to worship in Bramble, for instance the bar at TGI Fridays in the mall on a weeknight, which are also not for me. If I’m looking for community, I linger at Bramble CBD and listen to the ancient hippies. They have their own morality and hymns and sacraments too. Or I help out Joel at Bramble Tropical Fish when his meningitis is flaring up. And of course with my friend Shadow and his wife Wanda, I minister to their romantic strife individually and as a couple. Even with Vivian, who is sick of the motorcycle-gang-type, I enable her at the craps table, and hold her purse. I’m not interested in the nuances of grief. I hate emotions that happen in stages. I dislike the word widower, but I do use it to my advantage.
It’s beautiful at night in the store with just the light of the aquariums. It’s purple and wriggly. I’m already a calm person, so I won’t say calming. Ever since I was a child, I’ve been terrified to pray. Instead, I like to play Summer Walker for the fish. Trust me you can get it. Pull up whenever whenever. You know I'm with it. Don’t get it twisted. Nothing like none of these bitches.
